Just realised...
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seanmccauley
I fucking love life so much.

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seanmccauley
YOOOOOO
So my last entry was really depressing and stuff because I felt low, but now life seems awesome!
I love everything that is going on. I could complain but I'm just not that type of person.
At the moment.
I need a friend to throw a party, or money so I could go out, been aaaages.
So I have been going through my iPod looking for the more advanced songs to play along to to try and highten my skill. Current skill level - Dance Gavin Dance, "It's safe to say you dig the Backseat".
Drumrolls are ruling.
What else is happening... My fringe is purple. Bought a new beanie, $10 from Target, bargainnnnnn.
iTunes is my new best friend.

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Slipping
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seanmccauley
It's been a while since my first entry.
I'm having a hard time defining reality. Nothing seems to be absolutely perfect, which is, what I thought to be the ideal life. I sit here, in the library at tafe, thinking about how well everyting is going, and then remember all the crap I've dealt with recently.
Why should I have to be my best at everything? If I die now, I've spent my life at school. My whole life.
Nothing to show for it but barely passed years and a few parties.
I mean, I have enjoyed alot of things about life. Making friends, discoverig music, other things ;)
But at every turn something slaps me in the face. My attitude.
I've always been worrying about what people think about me. I know I shouldn't but I just can't seem to help it.
"Yeah Sean, you shouldn't care what people think of you, I don't" my friends say, but I'm not them, and I can't just let things go very easily.
This is probably why I haven't had a girlfriend in years. Or it could be my crippling fear of talking to girls I'm interested in.
If anyone read this... why?

Tired >.
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seanmccauley
So, I'm in my last year at school, and it is taking so much of my time with family and friends away from me.
It's seriously sucking the life out of me, I don't know how I'll survive if I go to University.
Yesterday morning is a blur to me. I just woke up, did my normal routine, got to the busstop and snapped into sense.

I got onto the bus and turned on my iPod, only to realise it was almost dead, so I had to sit through the mindless chatter that is the myspace generation.
When we got to school someone tripped and fell off the bus, and it was all up to me to help him up, which isn't bad, I like helping people. But a "Thanks, mate" would have made it more worthwhile.
I walked into the gate and all my friends seemed seemed the same as me. Just completely drained of life.
My best friend gave me his phone and said that the guitarist of our band came up with some new music, and he wanted me to listen to it. It was pretty sweet, and I could write something for it, hopefully I get some time in the next few weeks, were planning prac time soon.

Meanwhile, I have to figure out what I'm doing for the rest of my life. I want to do a bachelor of Education, but I haven't been looking at schools, or spoken to the school counselor, which is getting my mother concerned, and I am a bit scared myself.
Sometimes I wish you didn't need qualifications for a good career, that they just happened.
Damn it.

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